my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
