I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize