there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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