I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize