Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
wow bdsm is so cute
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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