some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
love makes seman taste better
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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