speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
