:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
