...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
