I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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