Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
