I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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