he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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