I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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