I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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