i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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