I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
