Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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