so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
