wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
