So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
