Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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