Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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