I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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