when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Drunk is not a location!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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