Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
