belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize