people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
