people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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