yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
