Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
