I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
