don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
