A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
