That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
