Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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