I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize