I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
