went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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