she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize