why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
