i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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