it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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