Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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