Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
