Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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