he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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