I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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