just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize