Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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