She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize