wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
