I feel like abortions should bother me more
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We just shotgunned beers for America
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
