i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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