It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
