Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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