You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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