I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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