# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Randomize
