dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
