Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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