He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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