so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
