Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
where does the pee come out of this thing
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
