we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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