No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
